3 Tips for Evaluating Whether a Therapist is Right for You

In this episode, I look at some things to consider when starting to see a therapist that can help you make the most of your time and money. You'll probably want to do most of the research-type things before starting to see a therapist, but it's okay if you start and decide you need to change it up.

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1. Ask to do a consultation appointment with the therapist before starting sessions with them.

I did this method when I first started individual therapy and I was scoping out therapists to work with. I was lucky in that I already knew a little bit about the therapist because she had worked with one of my sisters in the past, but I asked to do a consultation to get to know her a little bit on my own. It was a brief session over the phone, maybe ten or fifteen minutes, but enough to feel like the therapist knew what they were talking about and if there was the opportunity to build rapport. My therapist didn't charge me for that consultation, but be mindful that it will probably vary from therapist to therapist.

The reason I say to try and have a call or informal session before starting up a round of therapy with someone is because you want to have an idea of if you will vibe well with the therapist. Feeling like your therapist gets you is a huge part of the therapy journey in my opinion. If a therapist can empathize and understand where you're coming from, you'll feel more comfortable being vulnerable and opening up to share more with them.

2. Ask a lot of questions up front.

Asking questions in an initial couple of conversations, whether that's in person or on the phone, can be really beneficial to see whether or not you want to move forward with starting therapy with a certain therapist. Be sure to ask any questions that come to mind, especially things like what their approach to therapy is like, what kinds of methods they use, and how much guidance they like to give. Some of these things will change as you start seeing them, but it's a good starting place. You don't necessarily have to have thought all of these things out and there are some things you won't consider until you start sessions.

The biggest thing for me was understanding their approach and philosophy on therapy. I've found that some therapists are more reflective in their style, opting to listen and reflect what you're saying to them and then some are more solution-oriented where they'll reflect what you say and then offer some guidance based on what they observe. Both ways have merit and those aren't even the only two ways that therapists work, just two styles that I have dealt with in different situations.

3. Ask yourself if you think you are making progress.

This is mostly for when you have started a round of therapy and have gone to a handful of sessions. I almost am wary about putting this one here, because it assumes that the therapist alone is responsible for your progress. That's simply not true, but whether or not you feel you are making progress is somewhat a measure of if the therapist is a good fit for you. I think it's 50/50 here. The therapist has a job to listen and guide you, and you have a job to make something meaningful out of the nuggets they give you. On the other hand, if the therapist gives you the wrong nuggets, it may mean that your sessions won't be fruitful and your progress stagnant. You can still make progress on listening to your gut when it comes to following guidance that a therapist will give you. Trust your instincts on this one. They will rarely fail you.

Therapists understand that it's almost a little like dating around when it comes to finding a good therapist who's a good fit for your needs. The biggest piece of advice I can give here is to be open and honest during this time, as it will save you time and money in the long run. The worst thing you can do next to not going to therapy is going to therapy knowing your therapist does not seem to understand your needs.

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Disclaimer: I don't get paid by any of the resources listed in this post, nor am I responsible for anything they post or any interactions you may have on their site. Finding a therapist that's right for you takes time and research. Make sure you do your homework!