Book Review: The American Male by Myron Brenton

In this episode: I review a book! Enjoy.

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Hello dear readers. I pray you all are in good health and of happy states of mind. I hope you are all killing the game in whatever it is you're doing at the moment. I hope you like the new fall theme. You know I had to keep the orange and blue for my Gators, but I went for this new serious font and mixed it with fun colors to keep it fresh. I hope you like it. No, I hope you love it.

I want to preface my book review with a little note about the state of the blog.

In my last post, I was a little iffy about what the future of this blog would look like. In all honesty, I had half a mind to just pull the plug. I do this for myself and you, readers, but for those who know me, it was also a less-than-subtle call for attention from an individual, and I realize that my growth doesn't need to be validated by anyone but me. That didn't stop me from obsessively checking link clicks and likes on social media, and it started to weigh on me in ways it really shouldn't have. But after much though and reflection about the last post, I realize I owe it to myself to do something I enjoy, and owe it to the readers who find value in it to keep putting out content that I hope is still high quality. I started to doubt that quality when I started seeing the number of views on the newer posts dwindling with each new post, and that had me more discouraged. But the fact that I am still here rambling away is, to me and hopefully to you as well, a testament that I do this for the love of doing it. I've seen Kanye West tweet a bunch of things about love vs. fear, and this is one of the first ones that I saw, and as silly as it sounds, this tweet really struck a cord with me. I try to think about my intentions and motivations, and if I'm doing this out of purely love, or if there's some potentially uglier motives behind my actions. Making that a guiding principle and doing things for the right reasons has made a good bit of difference, even though it's been pretty recent.

But fear not dear readers. You're not getting rid of me that easily. I've freshened up the site, and I have plans for a new series which will essentially be an exploration on masculinity. I want to introduce you all to the subject matter and share some thoughts on my preliminary stages of looking into the subject. I'm learning a lot and it's just one of those things where when you read it, you see that in your life and go "whoa, that's crazy!" So without further ado, on to the book review!

The American Male by Myron Brenton

Synopsis:

So when I first picked up this book, I was V E R Y skeptical of it to say the least. I had picked it up kind of casually in an antique store. 1966. Cool. As an American male, I know what it's like to live as a straight American male in the 21st century in North America in the middle class. I thought this was going to be some kind of misogynistic diatribe about how the modern American male is superior to women and should have fewer rights than men (which I do NOT agree with, but I feel the need to say explicitly so people don't get the wrong idea), but I was surprised to find out that the author is very progressive, especially for his time. So this author's purpose in writing this book is not to make a whiny excuse for men getting left behind as women saw and continue to see a rise in education, economic opportunities, and sexual liberation. Mind you, this was written while the sexual revolution of the 1960s and later the '70's was in full-swing, which I still don't fully know a lot about but as I said, this is my first foray into the subject.

The author's purpose was to essentially look at what he considered the "masculinity crisis," which he saw as the long-standing American tradition of men as fathers and husbands who took little interest in their home lives and enriching their interpersonal relationships. Obviously nowadays, at least from what I have seen, men have come a long way since being the stereotypical TV dad who came home from work, opened a cold brewski and ignored the wife and kids. The modern male is involved in his family, and seeks to improve himself in many areas of his life. Anyway, the author goes on to say that the reason the state of masculinity was in crisis was because of this pattern of ineffectiveness ingrained in society and passed down, caused by this crippling insecurity that men have long experienced from time immemorial. The insecurity that I'm talking about is the insecurity of the man not being able to fulfill his role as provider for the wife and eventually kids, which translates into his fear that he will not be an adequate sexual provider. I thought that was a little out there but when I thought about it more, did I agree with it? Of course! What male-identifying person hasn't had that fear, that they won't be able to provide for their partner and kin the life they want to give them? The fear permeates many areas of life, and letting it not get to you is the hard part. I know I've dealt with that before, and it's not fun or pretty. It seems like a simple mindset shift: money isn't everything and one chooses to be with a person (ideally) for more than money. But no doubt that still lingers, even in the back of my mind.

He furthers his argument by saying that society has ingrained the traditional roles of woman as homemaker and man as provider for many centuries. And when you think about it more, it makes sense. When we're in elementary school, we're given or we gravitate toward things that society has generally assigned to our sex that we're born with. I don't want to get into the whole biological sex vs gender identity topic because I'm not knowledgeable enough to speak on it, but it is something I intend to learn more about as I delve deeper into the topic. So with society passing the baton from generation to generation, what breaks the cycle? I don't really know. I've just started learning about this, hence why I call it an exploration.

The author goes on to talk about many issues that the modern American male creates for himself, like the "male who does everything and nothing." I thought this was an interesting idea, and the author posits that basically a male (or any person, really) who keeps themselves busy every second of their life is most likely doing those things to avoid the unpleasant aspects of their lives, like weak points in their interpersonal relationships or flaws they have in themselves that they aren't inclined to introspect on. I agree with that to an extent, but I get that some people are just busy and like to be busy. That's cool too. It's not really my business what they do, so long as they're not negatively affecting others.

He also goes on to say that the key to moving the needle in the right direction toward a more robust definition of masculinity is emotional intelligence. That seems to be a buzzword and there are probably a zillion and one books on it, but I agree. I think the basis of any healthy person's mind is knowing themselves and being able to be emotionally agile. I think a big portion of that is self-reflection and actively pursuing the growth to see change in their lives. I know well-being is such a trendy thing right now but if you think about it, at least for myself, I'm at the age and knowledge level about myself where it makes sense to start implementing and discovering that well-being. And it doesn't have to cost anything either, as I've said before. Sometimes all you need is an internet connection, or a notebook and pen, whatever works.

The author goes into a lot more detail than I have time to give it justice, but for anyone interested in learning about the institutions in place to protect the fragile male ego, I'd highly recommend this. This also serves as a good starting point of a knowledge base for anyone who wants to supplement their feminist attitudes by finding out what the interplay between masculinity and increased feminist liberation entails. It's really helped me as a male and a feminist to understand how the causes and effects work and how they're at play. More than that, it allows me to be more aware of the ways that I benefit from societal structures that exist to keep males in power. I find it super fascinating, and maybe you will as well. Or not. I just thought I'd share. The crazy thing is, I can barely find this book on Amazon and there are zero reviews about it. So here's review #1.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I certainly had fun reading the book and I still have like 50 pages left. But I've had fun writing this as well, and I've been wanting to share, so thanks for reading.

This exploration of masculinity will probably be the focus of the blog for a little while, so if that's not your thing, you can tune in later when you want. Or don't. It's really my way of figuring out where I fit into the fabric of society and how I feel I can best express my masculinity in a way that works for me, that will allow me to feel comfortable in my own skin. So I hope you all stick around for that. Get excited! I know I am.