Generation I: What the future of sacrifice might look like for the children of immigrant parents

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Hello dear readers, it has been quite some time since I last wrote. I've been sitting on this post for some time, and I feel ready to sit down and hash it out in actual words. So, on we go.

For those of us who live the experience every day of being the children of immigrant parents, we hear the sacrifices they made to come to this country and build a life for themselves and their progeny. We think of the courage they had to leave everything they had and everyone they knew to start a new life. When I look at my own life, I feel very grateful that my parents made the sacrifices that they did in order for us to have opportunities they could have only dreamed of. So what does that mean for us? In classic millennial fashion, I'm going to take a minute to consider what this means for me. I find myself asking the question "now what?" very often, both in terms of everyday life and the grand scheme of things. I look at my life and think, what sacrifices do I need to make? But more importantly, I think about what sacrifices I need to make to make good on that promise of a better life.

I admit that this thought exercise is a little daunting and brings on a lot of existential dread at times. But when I look more closely, I think this is a gold mine for opportunity, because this is really where we have the power to write the next chapter of our narrative. It's incredibly intimidating if we let it be, but it's incredibly empowering if we let it be.

What do I mean by sacrifice?

I mean giving up the things that I want in order to fulfill a promise our parents made to not only to us, but to future generations of Desi Americans as well. You might be thinking, "well, aren't we a part of those future generations? What sacrifices do I have to make?" It's a valid question, and deserves some attention, but I think it goes even beyond our generation.

The re-settling of our parents' generation here in the States is just the beginning of a presence of Desi people in the US, and that's exciting. But what does that mean for our culture as we assimilate into Western culture, and how can we blend the two to get the best of both worlds?

Many Desi Americans feel comfortable expressing our vibrant cultures, but for someone like me who feels oddly in the middle, it's difficult to find my place. Part of that comes from being comfortable in my own skin, which is a whole 'nother journey on its own, but I'm slowly getting there. Getting back to the subject of sacrifice, what might that look like?

Self-actualization

I mention this one first and foremost because it's the most relevant to me, and I think it's timely since many people who are reading this are in this coming-of-age stage on the cusp of early adulthood. Granted, you never stop growing and learning and self-actualization is a process and not an end. I feel like the responsibility is on us as people who are aware to recognize some of the traumatic patterns in ourselves and our families that we carry with us. Once we do that, we need to actively work to heal them and create a space for the next generation to really thrive as multicultural individuals. I think that transcends Desi culture, but one thing in particular I've found is this insecurity in our community that we aren't good enough. You won't be considered good enough until this person knows you have x degree, until you make y amount of money, and drive z brand car. We keep telling ourselves these things which we know to be untrue until we're left believing it. It's all really a bullshit game and we need to come to terms as a community that there's more to life than this brand-name pissing contest. Taking the time to self-reflect and put in work to break toxic cycles is so important, and I posit that that's one of the biggest sacrifices we need to make. Undoing that takes so much hard work, but there's something to be said about appreciating and loving who you are. We have to know who we are to know where we want to go and who we want to be.

We have to know who we are to know where we want to go and who we want to be.

Generational Wealth

To say that being successful financially isn't important is just untrue. I think the sacrifice we need to make here is setting aside a little bit of dough for the future generations so we can make good on that promise of a better future. Yes, we need to enjoy our lives and be in the moment, but we also need to plan to ensure that we leave something for the future generations. This one is especially frustrating to me because I feel like I have to give up my life in the NOW so some potential offspring of mine will have something when they grow up. I think that comes down to my own relationship with money, and certainly it's something we're not taught in school. I think it's important to figure out how to balance today with tomorrow.

Time

I almost feel forced putting this one here, but I think it encompasses all of the other aspects that I didn't think needed its own category. It will take time to learn to be comfortable in our skin. It will take time to take care of our aging parents. It will take time to pause life once in a while to express our cultural pride. It won't be easy and won't be without its personal challenges for you, but I think recognizing that our most precious of assets can be leveraged to make us the best that we can be.

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I feel like I have barely scratched the surface, and maybe this will be part of a larger series. But I think that at least putting it out there, some will agree with me consider how this all plays into their own lives. Best of luck and as always, happy growing.