Update #3

In this episode: I give an update on my progress, and try to establish some regularity in posting blog posts. I also introduce some resources and give insight into my self-esteem building routine that I've implemented.

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Hello dear readers, I don't have too much for you this week, but in an effort to establish a routine of posting updates, I just wanted to put down a few words about what's been going on. This is both in an effort to keep consistency so people who follow it can know when new content comes out, but also helps keep me focused and on track with my growth. I'm a little hesitant to just write something to write, but I know I'm always working toward something, and it's important to take even the smallest of W's while I can.

This last week has been pretty good, and for those who read Update #2, you know that I've been slowly but steadily working on the self-esteem game. It's been really nice, and even when I have down days or hours, I really look forward to sitting down at night and going through that and doing my self-esteem exercises. The biggest thing that's helped over the last week is keeping the regularity by having built time into my schedule to do the work. I look forward to that part of my day. So far, the regimen has made me start feeling a lot better about myself and really putting into focus what's important to me, and what I appreciate in life. I start my self-esteem exercises in the morning following my shower, when I feel fresh and clean and ready to take on the day. I start by reading my twelve affirmations (mentioned in Update #2) in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I admit, I felt a little silly doing it at first, but I've found that to be true of a lot of the new things I have started to do. It feels weird at first because it's new territory, but even after just a week of doing it, I feel like it's slowly becoming second nature. That really helps me get a good start to the day, and I try to ride that high as long as I can. Then I go about my day, and at night is when I sit down and really do a lot of the mental work that goes into the self-esteem growth I've seen. I start this process usually by just putting in some headphones and listening to music to relax for like 5-10 minutes. After that, I pull out the tiny notebook and start just by general journaling, writing about things that happened during the day, how I felt about them, and process those things to put them to rest. Then I continue by doing a worksheet that I found on therapistaid.com, which is a really awesome resource for those who want to do some self-guided work outside of therapy to guide their growth. They have everything from grief to positive psychology to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and it's all free. (Also, remember I don't get any kickback from anything, so I'm providing this simply based on the merit and quality of their resources). Anyway, the worksheet is a self-esteem worksheet that has a weekly calendar, and lists three items per day that focus on things you did that made you happy or things to which you added value in your own life or others. This really helps you objectively look at things you do so you can write them down and physically see each day the good and valuable things in your life. My activities are kind of limited now, with just volunteering, seeing friends, and spending time with family, but I try to find value in any experience throughout the day so I can have a broader sense of appreciation of the things in my life. Some may argue that it's better to have a deeper appreciation of a few things, but the pace of life is so fast nowadays that it would take so much energy to appreciate everything wholly. So I pick three things that I thoroughly appreciate in depth, and I pick different things everyday so I cover a wide range of items.

Source: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/self-esteem-journal/self-esteem/none

So I conduct all of that business in my regular notebook just so I can keep track of everything and have it in one place. If you remember from Update #2, one of my affirmations and goals was to develop a sense of humility so I don't lose myself and get a big head in whatever I do. So I do the self-esteem journal to build myself up, and then I added one additional component which is to do a gratefulness portion, where I pick three things that I am grateful for. They're sometimes big, like having good health or an air conditioned room in which to sit during the hot Florida summer, and sometimes they're small, like having a full head of hair after having a bad hair day (I just ended up wearing a hat that day to cover up). All this put together is a pretty robust regimen, and it probably takes anywhere from 30-45 minutes to do. For some people that may seem like a lot, but I realize that 30-45 minutes a day for emotional well-being is a small time investment with returns that I hope will come in many folds.

The thing that I like most about this regimen is that it doesn't take too much time (relatively speaking), it doesn't cost any money beyond a notebook and pen and internet connection, and it's personalized to me. I went from just regular journaling to adding the self-esteem component and affirmations to adding the final component of gratefulness journaling. It's been a lot of fun, and I will continue to work on it and tweak it as I see fit. The main things I recommend most for readers who want to give it a try but don't know where to start are just to start, tweak as you go, and stay with it. The beautiful thing is just experimenting and finding what works for you, and you'll learn more about yourself as you do it. I've learned a lot and look forward to learning more as I move forward.

On a more personal note, ever since I've come to the conclusion that I need to work on my self-esteem, I've hit kind of a lull. It's weird because I'm transitioning from more of the grunt work of self-discovery and soul-searching for now, and moving into putting in work to improve that. It's weird because I'm the kind of person who always wants to know what's next, and for now I think the important thing is just to be focused on this topic in this particular moment until I'm on good footing. At that point, I'll be ready to tackle my next growth points, which I've given some thought to but are immediately obvious. As I move further along in my progress I hope to tackle improving my social anxiety, and dealing with issues of family abandonment. That won't be for a while because I want to give myself time to get a hold on the self-esteem stuff, but I'll let you know when the time comes. If you guys have questions or comments, leave a comment below. Until next week, happy growing!