Welcome Welcome!

In this episode: I establish my background, baseline, goals, introduce this whole thing, and invite you to make progress alongside me.

Well we're finally here to the reason I made this site. It's been quite a journey for me personally over the last few weeks and I'm honestly surprised to not only be a functioning person, but doing pretty well. I've recently found myself at a crossroads in life, with so many things changing, and nothing really having a permanent feel to it. I'll get into it, but I want to start off by saying thank you for being here. So much of my journey over the last few weeks has been talking people's ears off about different things, getting a zillion and one opinions, and then just doing what I was going to do anyway. So here it is.

My parents recently finalized their divorce and I'm freshly out of a decently long-term relationship that I thought would last forever. It's safe to say that my faith in those two institutions had been greatly shaken, and I often found myself feeling lost and alone, and doubting myself and abilities to no end. I was really quite broken about all of it, and I had no sense of direction. The emotional emptiness of a family separating and relationship ending paired with the physical emptiness of a partially-vacated house did me in. All I knew was that I'd have a job I'd be starting later this summer and that kept me going. If I didn't have that, I really would be heedless. Anyway, I cried a lot and felt bad for myself for a while, but I'm writing this in an effort to show why I've created this website, which was to build something for myself out of the ashes (cheesy, I know) that could benefit others in my situation or any situation where they may need support to get back on their feet and in the right direction personally or emotionally. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and started taking time to really cultivate myself, figure out who I am, and possibly help others do the same if I can. I realized that now is the best time for me to start taking ownership of my growth and wellness. No one else can help me if I first don't try to help myself. I feel like a lot of times in Desi and Muslim communities and families, we struggle to let ourselves grow because, let's face it, Desi cultures are so collectivistic and family-oriented, and it's easy to feel guilty for doing things that are good for just us. Not that that's a bad thing (I personally really like the community-oriented mindset) but I know at least for me, starting to take ownership of my own wellness, whether that meant going to group therapy or just taking up new hobbies that occupied a good deal of my time, has been a tough but solid first step. I think just realizing that it's important and not just dismissing on the grounds of "it's a hippie fad" was really important for me.

One thing I found while discussing with people is that the stigma associated with mental health and emotional health issues in Desi communities is still prevalent, and I saw some nice thinkpieces on it that basically said "WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN OUR COMMUNITIES," which is a big first step in acknowledging it exists. But I saw little being done, and figured, well shit, time to explore that and figure out what's up. Enter: P is for Positive. Part of my own journey with my mental health and emotional well-being included participating in group therapy at my university. The beautiful thing about group is that you're put with people who have similar things they want to work on as you, and that you have a support network to hold you accountable and encourage your progress throughout. I thought, "wouldn't it be cool if I had a space where I could air these issues out but with people who truly understand the cultural implications that I face?" Now, I want to make clear that this is a space for you to come for support and help you get on your feet and point you in the right direction when you need support for reaching personal goals and growth, but it's no substitute for seeking out real, professional mental health help. It's kind of a gateway to get you there, and if you've been there then it's a way to keep it up with like-minded individuals. Anyone who wants to grow and promote wellness can participate.

For me, it's kind of selfish, because I want to also reap the benefits of participating in this community, and build that sense of camaraderie with people who have been through similar things. I'll try to share periodically, most likely once a week unless it's particularly hectic, in which case it will be less. But my stuff will be on the blog portion of the site, and I'll jump in the Forum too on topics I want to work on. I won't be too detailed or revealing, so as to protect the identities of those around me, but enough to get the point across. This place will not be a gossip board. Part of the mentality comes from the name itself: positive. We will only be constructive and build healthy habits here, and I'm going to count on you guys to keep me in check. The Overview page goes into more detail of the nuts and bolts of the ethos of this thing, so check it out if you feel so inclined. Or don't, my feelings won't be hurt (but if they are, best believe I'm gonna write about it in a Blog entry...kidding).

I basically want this to be a place where we can come together to improve ourselves, and improve our communities in doing so. Think of it like Goalcast for Desi and Muslim Americans but with a lot less of the whole preachy vibe. Just stripped down to basics. Us, improving ourselves, beginning with the utmost honesty in our self-evaluations and no judgment. Reflect, act, and repeat. The quote goes that we should be the change we want to see, start with the (wo)man in the mirror, etc. so let's do it. Let's building something for ourselves so that those after us can make the most of their brief time on Earth.